Claustrophobia...

This was yet again one of those matrimonial fiascos. Was kind of different this time. Mum said there was an alliance. A good one. Great. As usual, horoscope matching was done. Our astrologer said there were some issues but the guys side told us all was fine and was not something to worry about. Mum was not really convinced but decided to meet our astrologer again a little later. However, she did give my number to the guy and asked us to go ahead and talk.

Was pretty ok to talk to him. Atleast there was a certain comfort feel established. However, there was always this demand on time. Had spoken to him once and the next day there was this thing about speaking for another 15 mins and another and another.. I was not too comfortable with that. Moroever, this was after 10 pm. Im usually half asleep by then. Tried to restrict it a bit, but somehow, there was this constant demand on time, which i was just not too ok with. Also asking if i reached home on time, if i left office, why i was still in office, ....these kind of questions from someone who knew me for 3 days!!!!

We had spoken for about 3 - 4 days. He was good to talk to. Was passionate about his job though im not sure if he loved what he did. Travelling was common for me. I travel almost every week. Was just getting ready to leave and got a message asking... if i had packed, how i was getting to the station, which station, etc etc etc.... something snapped. Agreed, this was concern or care...but from my side it was the onset of claustrophobia. I hardly knew this person. I was being practical and here he was getting emotionally attached. He was not the only alliance. Had been transparent about that. Its not about choices or choosing the best option, but it was about being careful thats all and of course not wanting to make any mistakes.

AFter that message, something did snap. Told mum to double check the horoscope match. Told him that I had asked mum to do it. He wanted to know if my decision was based on the horoscope matching. It was. Im not an astrology believer but i was in no mood to go against mum. And right now, just ok with listening to what she says. No energy for anything :).

Anyways the horoscope thing did not match. Luckily i had asked mum to double check before things went further. Communicated the same to the guy. That ended there. He did mail after that... was not sure if i wanted to reply...and till this minute have not replied.. and dont think i will either.

Im ok...seriously am. Like i said i might sound callous, but i was practical about the whole thing and not emotional. Once bitten twice shy!!

Unknowlingly Feeling...

Tears, unstoppable
Pain, beyond compare,
A few words, piercing
Such an agony never before known.
Cutting, slicing through each vein,
Rattling questions
Guilt? Shame?
Running away, running behind,
Memories, a blink of an eye
Moments, fleeting past
Complete surrender,
Would one side suffice?
Moving on, with no sense of direction
No path this is, strewn with roses.
Love saves. Love redeems.
This love, would it?
Yearning, the touch that soothes,
Longing, for the look that heals,
Desiring, for the smile that lights up
Would this all be washed away
A million questions,
Answers though none.
Groping, the darkness engulfs,
Swallowing me whole.
Never fear, it is only the night.

Checking...double checking, rechecking..

Its locked. Hmm let me recheck. Yupp its locked. But what if i yanked it a bit and the lock broke.Yank!. Its still locked. Alright, confident, time to go to bed. Not sure what kind of phobia this is or if it even qualifies as a phobia, but I generally tend to check, double check and recheck locks and bolts quite a few times (thrice to be precise) before I actually decide that no skilled thief is gonna break in and steal stuff from my house.

Kinda crazy i know. Somehow this practise has stuck on for several years and try as i might cant quite change it. The funny part is, i saw a film the other day, a Jack Nicholson flick, where he checks a door thrice before deciding it was locked. Thrice here as well!!! Yikes, reality kinda hit hard. Is that what i looked like? Yanking a door before i decided it was locked?? Me? Yupp pretty much. I watched that film sometime back, and was quite sure i resembled a clown had someone really noticed me in the act of checking locks and bolts.

Ive stopped being the person to check doors before sleeping. The routine thoroughly tires me out. My brother has taken over. Funnily, the other day, while he was checking the grill door in the verandah, I was ironing my clothes near by, I noticed my brother yanking the lock. Shocked, surprised, are these things hereditary as well. Did he see me do this or was it a natural instinct. Not too sure about that. Tried following my mum and dad around the house when they were bolting up to notice any similar traits. They were wondering if I was snooping around for something. Weird. Strange. Dont think i will ever find out if its just something unique or if i can blame my genes!!!

Taking time...

This is not some gyan on focus, moving in the right direction or any of those things. Just a passing thought which i felt should be put down. There have been so many instances where I've found myself literally wasting my energy. Simple example, getting angry and screaming at someone. Im not saying that you should not get angry at all. Sometimes you just cant do anything, and you need to lose it. Last time, i was on the verge of losing it, I went for a walk. Sounds dumb I know. Someone I knew was driving me nuts. I was close to telling him to take a hike. I did not want to shout. Simply kept quiet and listened to what he had to say. Once he was done, I was fuming. Smoke literally coming out of my eyes and ears! I decided to take a walk. A walk in the office??? Not a bad idea actually. Luckily it was kind of late in the evening so was cool. Just walked around for about 15 mins. When i returned to my desk, somehow a lot of things fell into perspective. True, at the spur of the moment, I was furious. Thinking things through, i realised that there were some things I had to change and perhaps work on to make life better. I did just that.

Another simple example of missing someone. Sometimes, you miss someone too much that you could sit and pine and whine all day. Why do that?? In my case, since i work out when i can, my gym was my let out. A good workout, an hour and a half of taking your mind of something, maybe someone. Sure does a world of good. I had a great workout, 1 hour of cardio and 30 mins of floor exercises, stretches. I came back home feeling ecstatic.

Emotions are not a waste of time. However the amount of energy we spend on expressing them, can be utilised more effectively doing something constructive. Enough for now...Laterzzz!

Cricket?@!@#

I'm sure every human being on this planet, atleast those who are not cricket fanatics would agree with this. At home I have a brother who lives, eats, sleeps cricket. Bad enough, one adult individual to drive me up the well, my dad also joins in. Weekdays, normally, during dinner we sit together in front of the tv for dinner. We watch a couple of popular serials for about an hour. As usual there are a million breaks. And flip!!! The commentary begins. Mum and I silently bear this torture. Ok, if there were a live match, maybe India was playing or it was some interesting match, understandable. But flipping to cricket, to watch a match from the 1980's!!!!

Weekends, Mum and I normally get sometime to watch a film or some interesting programs. Then again, if theres a match, Mum can retire to going through classifieds and I can either prove invisible or read a book or basically grumble such that no one cares. The game is interesting. Sports is good. Good, happy, proud of it. But consideration for others, sort of disappears when this game is turned on. The fact that there are two other individuals in the house who might have some kind of interest and maybe require a break too - errr who cares!!!

I have a friend. He's nuts about cricket. He usually mails me when in office. And the day goes, just exchanging mails. A great friend. Someone i cannot do without. He drives me crazy sometimes, but still a great guy. There was a day he wasnt in office. Why coz he was sick? Poor chap was running a fever after getting drenched in the rain. Didn't really want to disturb him by messaging too much. Constantly checked how he was. He simply replied 'Betr' or something equally informative. Figured he must be resting. Post noon, asked him what he was doing all day. 'Watching Cricket'. That was the longest message he sent the entire day. Something snapped in my head. There were few more messages that went back and forth, and I simply said bye!!!. I have no intentions of messaging. He takes leave to recuperate. He's too sick to message. But he's perfectly ok to sit and watch a bunch of loonies running around the field chasing a ball that's almost always elusive!!! Argghhh

Honestly I have nothing against the game as such. Ive lived in a family, that lives on cricket, with an exception of mum of course - Thank God for some miracles!!! The game is fine, just like every other sport. What drives me nuts, is the hype. The constant banter on how the 'Men in Blue' need to prove themselves. You want to prove yourselves, you darned well play well. You dont need a commentator to tell you that. People make and lose more money, simply sponsoring cricket, than some people earn their entire lives!!

Search me, I fail to understand this game's greatness!!!

The loss of a pet...

Why this topic is significant now? Munch messaged last night. Her fiance's dog had passed away and she was crying. She did not know whether she was crying coz her fiance was crying or because the dog had passed away. Called her. I knew there was nothing you can tell anyone at this point of time. Munch sobbed, saying Benji was the only dogged who liked her. Tried making her laugh, telling id give her candy for a week and she could decide whether to keep her or not. Candy sure does have a way with people. Munch finally laughed a bit. Had to crash, so told her to relax and things will work out. Also offered to buy her in laws another dog when i went down to Cochin.

What is it like to lose a pet? Its the worst thing that can possible happen. I have lost people, i have also lost a dog. Somehow when i lost Smudge, my lhasaapso, I was devastated and it took me quite a while to get back to normal. With people, I did not have much of a problem. The sadness was there no doubt, the intensity varied.

Smudge, came to me as a pup. Mum and Dad decided it was time I got a dog. I was simply crazy about them. In my neighbourhood, I knew the name of every single dog, but not their owner. Also, all stray dogs had a name. Having cats at home was common, but somehow i could never really cuddle a cat. We saw some ads in the paper and decided to go and see some pups. Went to a house where there were about 7 aapso pups. The owner opened the door, and balls of white wool came rolling out. All of them ran straight for the food bowl and gobbled up whatever was there. One little one, trudged behind and came in last. He wasnt too healthy. The rest were fighting over the food bowl, but this little one came straight to me and tugged at my lace. I know it sounds like its straight out of a fairy tale. It is true though. Somehow I knew, he was the one. I picked him up. He had the most amazing eyes simply begging me to take him. Decided, bought and we went home. He curled up on the car seat and fell asleep.

Smudge's existence was brief. He lived only for 2 and half years. During his time, he carried himself like a king, yet was also the most affectionate dog in the world. The minute we reached home, he would bow low like he was welcoming us. He would howl when he heard indian music. Western music was something that usually put him to sleep. This was Smudge in a nutshell. He was prone to diseases, as he had protruding jaw. His last few days were absolute hell. Mum would rush him to the hospital everyday. Finally on August 14th 1997, he passed away. Mum did not tell me. She said he had been kept in the hospital for observation. I knew it was over. The next day, i was leaving for school for Independence Day celebration. Mum quietly told me the truth. I did not react. I was numb. I went to school. The celebration was over. There was a prof in school who was as crazy about dogs as I was. Mum had taught her and she taught me. She was the reason I fell in love with History and continued to take it in high school.She enquired about Smudge. Quietly told her he passed away the previous day. I broke down in the school car park. She tried consoling me, I sobbed uncontrollably. I couldnt quite get myself to accept it. The sad thing was, the day before he passed away, as i was just leaving for school, I saw him lying on the doormat. Something told me to speak to him. I did that. Just put him on my lap and told him he was the best part of my life and that I loved him. Also told him that I wanted him to fight, but if it hurt too much to go to sleep. My lil one could not take the pain, coz he decided to sleep.

Days went on. We were all silent at home. We hardly talked to each other. It was crazy. Somehow like darkness had decided that we would be the target. There were so many things that we had discussed with Smudge, that we could not discuss with each other. He did not just die with his own pain, but with ours as well. Our sorrows was his, our joys were his as well. He was too much a part of us.

We couldnt take it after a point. We went to the vet, and asked him if he had any dog. He answered positively. He had a lab, who was given as a gift to the minister and was treated really badly. We couldnt care less what or who he was. We agreed to take him. Ranger entered our lives. His tail was like a rat's tail He was thin. Hadnt eaten a decent meal. We took him home and he devoured bowls of rice and dal. I couldnt quite relate much to Ranger. Smudge was still the one. It didnt take me long to get used to Ranger. He was a clown, and his antics won me over.

Time has passed now, Ranger is 11. Old but still remains the eternal clown. He has Candy for company as well and together they make me laugh and forget that I once lost someone so dear.

I write this post now, quite early in office. Even as i write, tears trickle down my face. Miss you Smudge!!!

Im going mad...

Well a lot of you might quip silently...going mad, aren't you already mad!!! Maybe I am but this is a different case.

Imagine waking up in the morning. Sipping hot coffee, enjoying the cool morning breeze. Your mother walks up to you and you think shes gonna tell you something good. Instead she goes on and on and on about some horoscope that matched and how he would call and how he had his own house and how he was tall and this and that. Ive reached a stage where I just can't take it anymore. I was in Kerala for a break. Was enjoying myself. And mum called. I was having breakfast. Thought it would be a nice how are you doing conversation. Instead it was about some arbid guy in Hyderabad, who has spoken to me long back, works somewhere, intends to build his own house, has a mind of his own, liberal, broad minded...crappppppppp... told mum to stop. Just lost it. Told her i did not want to listen to this nonsense first thing in the morning. Something snapped inside and i just felt like putting this whole thing off.

Came back from Kerala. Told mum I was going to relocate, rather that I might have to. I came back from Hyderabad coz i though people needed me here. Now im not so sure. Im not saying i do not want to get married. I will, eventually. Im 24 for crying out loud!!! I can wait atleast another 2 years. I dont think i have the mental maturity to live with a guy and raise a family. Right now my career is going great. I did get frustrated over my job but now I truly love what Im doing. I enjoy my travel, the campuses, the students views, the interview...the exhiliration of it all. Im loving it.

If marriage were to come my way, i would have to quit my job or move to a place I do not like. I cannot think of doing that. I cannot and will not quit my career for anyone or anything right now. Why did i have to study then? I could've just been brought up and gotten married and generally domesticated. Why give me an education? Why did I have to do well also? Its frustrating me now. Totally driving me crazy. I do not want any commitments now. Im happy with my life the way it is. I love being single, i love my job and i love the people around me. Im not ready to accept someone new in my life and see myself with that person for the rest of my living days.

If i get married anytime now, if im forced into it...I will poison my husband. I wouldnt have to try too hard, my cooking would suffice!!!!

The magic...

Idhu enna mayam
Idhu edhu varai pogum
Unnai partha naal mudhal
Parandhu pogiran..maeley
Idhu enna mayam
Idhu edhu varai pogum
Iru siragai virithu nan
Midhandhu pogiren..maeley!

Kanavugal varuvadhal kalavaram vizhiyiley
Dhinasari pudhu pudhu, anubhavam edhiriley...ulaagamey
Unnal indru pudhiyadhai unargiren
Urachagathai muzhuvadhai.
En vanathil sila matrangal
Vin megathil un uruvangal
En katriley un swasangal..nan parandhu pogireney

Abhi heard this song on the radio. We tried looking for it and finally found it. Now both of us go nuts listening to this song. Its the kind of song, you can close your eyes and sway to. The kind to put me in a totally different frame of mind. This song holds true in different phases in my life. Some people who made a difference. Some who left an indelible mark. Some who made me who I am. Some who make me want to live.

Like the song says changes...i look forward to them. They keep me going.

Please hear what I'm not saying...

Don't be fooled by me.

Don't be fooled by the face I wear.

For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,

Masks that I'm afraid to take off,

And none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature to me,

But dont't be fooled.

For God's sake don't be fooled.



I give you the impression that I'm secure,

That confidence is my middle name and coolness is my game,

That the waters calm and I'm in command,

And that I need no one.

But don't believe me.

My surface may seem smooth byt my surface

Is my mask, ever-verying and ever-concealing.

Beneath lies no complacence,

Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.

But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.



I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed.

That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,

A nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend,

To shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation,

My only hope, and I know it.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance,

If it's followed by love.

It's the only thing that can liberate my from myself,

From my own self built prison walls,

From the barriers I so painstakingly erect.

It's the only thing that will assure me

Of what I cannot assure myself,

That I'm really worth something.



Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging,

Each time you try to understand because you really care,

My heart begins to grow wings, very small wings,

Very feeble wings,

But wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling

You can breathe life into me.

I want you to know that.



Who am I, you may wonder.

I am someone you know very well.

For I am every man you meet,

And I am every woman you meet.

(an excerpt from Chicken Soup for the Soul)



... I read this piece nearly ten years ago and yet again it strikes me as being absolutely honest and vulnerable. I do not have the book, but I happened to find a print out of this piece and felt that it needed public view. Each of us, at some point of time, wear masks. Sometimes we cannot let the world see us, as our true selves. We want to be accepted, we want to feel wanted, same time we are unsure if the world will accept us just as we are.

There was a time I strove to be someone I was not. I was always someone else. The true me, was missing and sometimes I wondered what my identity was. Today, my attitude has gone through a drastic change. 'I will be myself and I care a damn what the world thinks'. If I'm making a mistake, tell me, I will change, any other opinions feel free to keep them to yourselves. I don't really know the reason behind this change, think college really let me be myself. I did not feel oppressed. Did not feel like i was viewed under a microscope. I truly learned to love myself, and let those inhibitions go. I can't say now, that i love myself and im the best...well...atleast im trying!!

D Howlers updated

D : Are German Shepherds Terriers
Sunny : Errr what???
D : You know, German Shepherds are ferocious and all. So they must be real terriers nah
Sunny : Terriers they cant be. Terrors they are.
D : Haaaannn correct...i meant terrors only!!!!

Hahahahahahahah!! ROTFL

Thoughts inspired by bread omelette

Was getting ready for office this morning. Mum had left and was just planning to sit down for breakfast. Was tired of eating apple. Was bored of brown bread and low sugar raspberry jam. Decided to whip up a nice omelette and eat it with bread. And i did just that. A lot went through my head in the process. There was a time in college when i used to make this combo almost everyday for my best friend D. She was in hostel and inevitably the lazy bum would miss breakfast coz she simply wouldnt get up. Inspite of calling her and waking her up she would doze away and the breakfast would be forgotten. We were in evening college so classes started only by 12. Madam would sleep till 10. In college she would eat one puff and something to drink. Thats all!!!

Was wondering when she was going to pass out. She finally asked me one day to get her something to eat. Bread omelette was fine with her. It soon started to become a practise. Sometimes there would be no salt, sometimes too much, sometimes just perfect. The bread would be lightly toasted on the tawa so it wouldnt be too brittle nor too soft. Sometimes i would come early to give this dumbo sufficient time to eat while commenting about passersby or share the latest gossip before we went to class.

All this went through my head in a span of 1o mins. The bread was done. Neither too hard nor too soft... was just right. The omelette was done too. It did not tear. It was perfect. The salt was perfect too. Sometimes i guess even while cooking... its the thought that matters :)

Whats the point?

I have a friend who often puts this question to me. If i tell her im working to hard she'll quietly ask me whats the point of slogging for nothing. Tell her about the pay, the emotional satisfaction, the work culture - she would still ask the same question.
Come to think of it, i've sort of started to follow the same mental path. I am working hard. I travel 4 out of 6 days. I literally beg technical panelists to come do interviews. I break my head arranging for travel and accommodation. I keep updating people about a 100 things. I drive PS mad coz both of us share the work load. Ultimately i get paid at the end of the month. Great. So whats the point of saving, of working etc. Is it for my future? What future? My kids? Right!! Let them grow up and earn for themselves. My duty is to put them thru a decent school and college. After that its their own headache. Hmmm im sure my parents dont think that way. I will be different!!!
I break my back trying to work out. I eat a morsel and i put on weight. A friend of mine eats 10 pooris and shes like a stick. Blame it on genes, heredity blah!! Then again why would i want to try so hard. To look good - i aint gonna be a movie star. To impress some guy - if he likes me it better be for my brains. But then again - maybe its just to feel good. But the question arises - Whats the point - anyways im gonna die some day. Why not enjoy life ? Hmm makes sense. But yeah i cant revamp my wardrobe every year and i dont think i can move beyond a XXXL. Im still far from it and somehow the thought of XXXL kills me. No ways. But then again. Whats the point.
I take time to look through websites to pursue my studies. To maybe do an MBA. Then again. I have a good job. I earn decently. So why study, whats the point!!!
Parents go mad trying to find a guy. My brother helps in the process. They are really really trying to hitch me to someone. Good for them. But whats the point of getting married. To have kids. To live happily ever after. The question the question - the point!!! I think id be happier being single. I could contradict myself saying whats the point being single!!
Time to stop
Take a deep breath
Finish this piece and then again
Whats the freaking point!!!!???

Interesting meeting...and its all over

This weekend has been rather eventful. I had a scheduled appointment with one of those prospective grooms. I was running late. I reached the VENUE at 4.15 instead of 4.00 pm. No worries coz the other person was not yet there. I waited. 15 mins. Sent him a message. No response. 30 mins tried calling him. No response. No reply. Another 5 mins. Was impatient. Finally sent a message asking if he was coming or not. Finally got a call.

K - Hey what you doing at this place today

A - Err didnt you fix up a meeting plan today

K - Today!?!@ Wasnt it for tomorrow

A- What!!! You said today 4 pm and ive been here for the last 45 mins!!!

K - Damn. Sorry. Was sleeping. Would it be ok if we met tomorrow

A - Hmm i might have other plans. Id like to be done with it today. How long would you take to come considering you live close by.

K - I just need to shower and come over. Say about 20 mins.

A - Take your time. Ive been here for almost an hour another 20 mins wont hurt

K - Great will be there. And sorry again

A- No issues

He showed up in 5 mins. Great. He was in track pants and Tshirt. Interesting. WE got on talking. He seemed ok. The age difference between us sort of made me feel like a kid. Though he did not look so old. The only thing on his mind mostly was his job. He worked during the week. He slept during the weekend. Hmm no time for anything else. Even better. Weekdays he works till 3 am. Ouch ok.

Meeting over. Im back home. Im hounded by questions. I simply say that hes ok. Good fun. Busy busy and more busy and of course that he forgot about the meeting. Other than that i honestly dont have anything else to say about him.

Sunday - i was lying down chatting with Abhis friend. Phone rings. Abhi gives it to me saying its K's mother. I tell him to give the phone to dad or mum coz i was not sure if i should talk. Dad talks. I take Ranger for a walk. I come back and then go out to the beach. I come back and then Abhi walks in. K's mother had called. Apparently HoRRoRscope problem. Everything had matched but problem we were in the same 'Gothram'. In simple terms, a girl and boy, even if unrelated but belonging to the same gothram cannot get married. Reason being - they are like brother and sister. Ok cool. No issues but just that time wasted. I did not really worry or ponder over it. Was just irritated that such a thing was so stupidly overlooked.

I did have a lot of questions though. We had sent my horoscope. They did not send K's coz apparently his was some 'shuddha jathakam' and only his astrologer was to read it and match it with others. Great! Mum was hesitant to send mine, coz mine was also some ' shuddha jathakam' and people might cast eyes. HMMM. She agreed to send it coz they were a very good family and could be trusted with the horoscope. And she did just that. They had come back with news saying that all was good and from then on it was upto the boy and girl and the parents were mere facilitators. Great. Loved the attitude

The astrologer was supposed to be one of the best. If he had seen my horoscope and his, its unbelievable that he overlooked such a crucial thing. Most astrologers, first look at the gothram for fear that an unrelated brother and sister might get married : A top astrologer overlooking such an important fact. He sure did have K's best interests at heart. Hmmmm somehow i dont buy that story

Whether K had something to do with this i do not know coz he has not bothered to send a message even for formality sake. If he does - let me just say - a golden opportunity will only knock once or even better - finders keepers losers weepers. Whichever!I dont really feel that ive lost out something great coz he anyways did not have time for anything other than his work. His response to sms messages always takes 24 hours and of course he did forget our first meeting and in two weeks he has called me once.

Mum sent out a strong mail to K's mother. And K's mother sent out the most unbelievable explanation. I silently laughed. Ambi was listening to me read the mail aloud and she practically freaked out. I shall not go into details as i do not believe in defamation.

Nothing else from my side. I aint sad, or upset or depressed. Just bugged coz i had wasted precious time. :)

Story untold

What do i tell a person who is madly in love with someone and he just doesn't care. They are best of friends. They can have a conversation about anything under the sun. They meet, they laugh, they talk like there is nothing between them. From his side...there is nothing. He values her friendship. He needs her advice when he's confused, he needs her to point out that he's stuck up... he never tells her all this though. She loves him. She always did. She's even told him. At one point things worked out. They were happy. He loved her too. And even told her. He suddenly changed. He said he meant it as a friend. He began to ignore her. They were in the same coffee shop where a month ago, she was sick and he was forcing her to drink masala chai while he enjoyed his strawberry milkshake. Now they sit, he staring at the table, she punching away on her mobile phone. Something she never used to do when he was around. They were together, yet apart.
She tried moving on. Tried keeping herself distracted. She tried questioning him he just didn't budge. He was a friend and she had misunderstood. His version. Her version - he said he loved her and also confirmed that he meant every word of it. He also messaged her often saying that he did. All that was sometime ago. He had grown up in a month. She had grown too much into it in month. She left the city. She tried being away thinking that distance and time will heal. His conference brought him to the same city. They met. She tried to keep out the emotions. She did till she was in his presence. The minute he left, she broke down.
They had tried to be friends. He was ok with it. She was trying real hard. Atleast she pretended to. He started ignoring her again, this time for no rhyme or reason. She asked him why. He responded saying she was imagining things. She wasn't. She came back to her hometown. He was ok again. He wasn't ignoring her. He started talking to her properly again. Asked why he had earlier ignored her, he stated that he thought she was falling for him again. Idiot when did she ever fall out of love for you??? She simply laughed it off. Screamed at him and told him to never assume things again. Liar!!!
They still talk. They still laugh.....or atleast he does. They still meet up. Every time he wants a song and can't find its download, he comes back to her even if they are fighting. She spends hours trying to find one song for him. He's happy. She's happy that he's happy. She can't do much anymore other than bury what she feels.
They are friends to the world. In her heart, he will always be hers. And they lived happily ever after... in their own separate lives.

Original Sin - Elton John

Elton John
Oh, it's carnival night
And they're stringing the lights around you
Hanging paper angels
Painting little devils on the roof
Oh the furnace wind I
s a flickering of wings about your face
In a cloud of incense
Yea, it smells like Heaven in this place

I can't eat, can't sleep S
till I hunger for you when you look at me
That face, those eyes
All the sinful pleasures deep inside
Tell me how, you know now,
The ways and means of getting in
Underneath my skin,
Oh you were always my original sin
And tell me why,
I shudder inside, every time we begin
This dangerous game
Oh you were always my original sin

A dream will fly
The moment that you open up your eyes
A dream is just a riddle
Ghosts from every corner of your life
Up in the balcony
All the Romeo's are bleeding for your hand
Blowing theater kisses
Reciting lines they don't understand


I love this song. Im not saying more. I simply love it. And the rendition is amazing!!!

Some things you should know...

1. I cant cook to save my life. I can sort make few things but dont think anyone other than me can eat it. I can boil water!!!
2. I love reading fiction. Not the sci fi, genetic type. Hard core fiction fan. Jeffrey Archer, Erich Segal keep me going. I love history. Off late have been reading a lot of indian writing and yes they are pretty good. Some are depressing though
3. i love dancing. Havent really learnt, but just enjoy dancing
4. Love bike rides. So long ive always been the one to ride. i love my bike (Honda Dio) and also love it if someone takes me for a ride on a bike. My younger brother's friend usually takes me for little zips
5. I love long drives in my car, listening to some good music, preferably late evening, when the sun is almost down and the stars are just beginning to show their face
6. I love red. I love red and i simply love red. I also love black. Think red and black is the deadliest combination (even though its often associated with DMK)
7. I love the water, - beaches, streams,water falls, the works.
8. I love Hugo Boss. One perfume that can drive me nuts. Davidoff poses equal competition
9. I love flowers. I think the most romantic/meaningful gift that can be given to anyone right from birth till death - are flowers. Roses, orchids, lilies. Love em all.
10. I love Dogs. Think ive already said that. Just reinstating the fact
11. I love my friends. They are psycho, whacko but the most lovable bunch of people around me
12. Im a die hard romantic. And if you havent figured that out by reading all of the above...YOU NEED TO READ THIS POST AGAIN!!

I cant stand
1. Gossip
2. Backbiting
3. Loud mouths
4. Screaming kids
5. Sound of scratching nails on a blackboard
6. the heat
7. dishonesty - especially amongst friends. I find it hard to forgive friends who lie. I can forgive everybody else.
8. Body odour
9. Generalisations
10. Stereotypes
11. melodrama in real life
12. raking up the past when fighting
13.low self esteem



Still thinking. If theres more will update....

D and Cookie Howlers

D will henceforth be known as Pindimana Thamburatti and Cookie will be nicknamed as Theetamana Kookeshwaran. For those who dont know what that means, better that way. Dont bother asking me. If you know what it means. Silently laugh else D will kill me, which she will anyway do coz its now public knowledge

Cookie : if you tell me what is in my bag i will give you some eggs from my bag. If you tell me how many there are i will give you all 8
D: Tough. Give me some Clue.

LOL. I shan't say more.

Im yet to get mail..

Been awhile i know. Too much travel too little time. A lot of disasters also. Well managed to cross it all for now. Atleast for the moment. Ma is kinda going nuts i think. Shes on the groom hunt for me. I have on issues but its rather crazy to have to sit and screen them. Sometimes i wonder if my recruitment job goes on at home. One day mum said " This guy is rejected" and i was surprised. Simply told ma that i did not interview any candidate like that. Ma was like, he is not a candidate, hes one of the proposals thats come for you. Oops ok. Sorry. How am i supposed to know that.
The other day amma asked if it would be ok if the guy was a doctor. Now what exactly do i have against doctors?? Nothing except i should not be the guinea pig. Other than that no hassles. Asked amma to go ahead. Another really good proposal came and ma and the guys mom have been in touch. The moms seem to have grown very fond of each other. The family is also a fantastic family. Ok. So hows the guy. According to his mum, hes fantastic, studied at Stanford, Harvard, upright, noble...well err..ok. Fine. His mums ok with me and my mum is ok with him. Something missing here. Yea my approval. Anyways good that amma is leaving this one thing to me. Shes given the guy my email id, and im supposed to wait for a good day when he decides to mail me. Till then ive gotta wait.
Interesting all this is to me. Though i dont really know what to do and how to react. Im supposed to get married. Ok great. No problem. What else am i supposed to do. Anyways as of now im just going with the flow. What happens happens. Will take it as it comes. Amma gives me lectures on how everything is upto me and its for me to decide and i should like the guy and theres no pressure and in her times she didnt have the option and she just had to do what was told and that times are not like that and the family is important and ..and ..and. Phewwww
Guess ill just wait for the mail!!!!

@$$$#%@%

Yes if you could hear me I would be using the worst swear words you could have ever heard. My Monday was the worst it could possibly be and im not exaggerating. I was on my way to office. Stuck in traffic and roasting in the Chennai heat. I was taking the turn from the Rajbhavan road to Guindy. There were a whole lot of new changes. The road had been made one way. Good and bad. Good coz i wouldnt have to battle with the signal there. Bad coz there would be a mad rush from all sides towards Guindy and Saidapet. Was moving towards the left to turn and saw this man trying to cross. Slowed down out of common courtesy. The guy was staring at me. Something told me something was going to happen. Intuition. I instinctively shut my helmet. The freaking idiot looked me in the face and SPAT one me. YES YOU READ RIGHT...THE IDIOT SPAT ON ME. Freaking crap. He was chewing on Pan Parag and my tshirt was splattered with it. I couldnt stop coz i was in the middle of the road and something told me to just keep driving.
I was shocked. I was irritated. I wanted to hold the guy by his neck and smash his head against a lamp post. I wanted to shove him into a dustbin or a drainage. I wanted to simply kill him. I dont know if he did that out of some sheer stupidity or whether it was something driven towards me coz i was a WOMAN. Im not making a generalisation here but seriously what right does a man have over a woman...jus coz he is a man and does not necessarily have to use his head to think. Why i did not do what i wanted to do was simply coz i just had to get to the office and i did not know how to react.
All i could do was be thankful that i closed my helmet. Thank god he was chewing pan parag and not paan. Yewwwwwwwwwwww yuckkk!

Lil Rascals

After a long time I actually decided to take a weekend off from Chennai. Went down to Cochin to meet D and also the latest addition to her family. A basset hound. I had a campus event near Salem and decided to go to Ernakulam from there straight. I reached at 3 in the morning. Sunny was waiting for me at the entrance and when I reached the auto I saw D with lil D on her lap. He was the most adorable thing I had laid my eyes on. He was ochre brown and white with ears that he tripped on every two steps. We reached home and D and I slept in the hall and lil D was running around and finally settled between us. Though I had slept at 4 I was up by 8 coz I had to catch lil D from running towards Big D’s mum who is terrified of the brat. I woke up so fast that I sprained my neck.
Lil D has a mind of his own. You can call him a million times but he will respond only when he wanted to. He loved chewing D’s fingers, hair, ripping up the plants kept outside and standing in the kitchen waiting for food. D threatened people but lil D could threaten Big D and she would quietly do his bidding. One person who can finally threaten her and make her dance to his tunes. Amma is dying to see this lil one and cant stop imagining what he might be like with all the stories ive given her.
Lil D has been baptized. He will henceforth be called Cookie. We were thinking of Rascal but Big D refused to name him that. Sunny and I quietly revel in the fact that the D not naming him Rascal was fear of having people say ‘ Like master like dog’. Rascals apart, I had a blast with this little chap and the big brat. Was great to be back, secure, happy and well rested. Went for a body massage and felt that my body had really gone on vacation. Though it was just a weekend, feels like I can go on without holiday for another month. Then it will be time to come back again to big D and lil C.

sleepless in salem

We reached Salem at 5 in the morning. An unearthly time that I rarely see unless im unbelievably inspired to go for an early morning workout. Not happening. Me and 5. LOL. Anyway we came to the hotel and there were no rooms for KR and me. We are still waiting for a room. I was hoping to sleep for a bit and then get ready for the days event. Doesn’t seem to be happening now. Theres some religious music running in the background. I have nothing against it but just that at 6 in the morning ( yea we have waited for that long ) id rather climb into bad with some soft music and fall sleep. The HOD of the MCA department in the College to which we are going is sitting with us pretty helpless. Still no rooms. Apparently Indian Oil employees are in the same hotel and have occupied all the rooms. Hmm…no sleep…no rest…. Nice day. On top of that I take a train tonight to Cochin and the darned thing reaches at 3 in the morning. I have to train Ds dog over the weekend. Love to do that and looking forward to atleast that. KR is dozing away sitting here in the lobby. I cant quite do that coz the chair im sitting is not as comfortable. Grrrr…

I am a dog

I took the test Nothings Aplently took. Seems interesting. Here are the results.

You are one of the best friends that someone could ever ask for. A very loyal, compassionate person who is always there for close friends and family members who are in a tough time. You are someone who can be counted on time and time again and never let small grudges get in the way of a good friendship. But unfortunately, you are very dependant, and every now and then someone will take advantage of your loyalty, and it is most often not until you end up hurt that you realised your foolishness.

Celebrity for a day...

Funny are the ways of people who are new to something. Well I handle campus recruitment and my sole duty is to visit colleges in Tamil Nadu and recruit freshers for the following year. Its a challenge to get the prime slot that is the Day 1 slot and most companies fight tooth and nail to get it. We almost always get a day 1 or day 2 slot. Anyways, there was this college we had never visited before. They themselves called and offered us day 1. We thought we might as well give it a shot coz you never know the students might just be really good. We sent the tech panels earlier. My boss KR and i left a little later. We were just planning to leave, well the cab driver was missing. We tried calling the cab service and they couldnt help. Finally he came walking out of OUR office, slowly. When KR hailed and asked him to come faster, he actually waved back saying he will come slowly.
Fine, we left. The driver was a PSYCHO. If he couldnt overtake he would slam his fists on the steering wheel. If someone called he would speak to them like he was the boss. We hadnt even reached the airport and when the other driver called he said he had crossed the airport long back. KR and i werent quite sure if we would ever reach. We turned into a road and KR told him to ask someone where the college was. He stopped at a place where there was NO ONE. Guess he expected to look up at the sky and see some sign. After all that havoc we reached in one piece.
We just got out of the car. A whole lot of people crowded around us, shook hands, gave us flowers, took photographs. Neither of us knew what was happening but we simply smiled and went on to the control room. All neatly arranged. They forced us to breakfast. The arrangements were done by a 5 star hotel. Why God knows !!@#!@ We went on to make the pre placement talk. Mr KR was introduced as Dr. KR. His expression was priceless. Then he was introduced as the Location Research Manager though he was the Location Resource Manager. I couldnt quite control myself. KR was also felicitated with a shawl. LOLLLLL. He looked like he was getting a Ph D or something. Ohh by the way the prayer song killed me. They tried to sing Mahaganapatim. I love that song... well atleast i loved it till then. The words were all wrong, the rendition was.. well i wished i was deaf thats all.
The day went on like that. The faculty was all over us. The placement officer smiled like we were stars she had never seen. There were a lot of mishaps but they tried covering it up. Finally the day winded up and i had no energy left. Came back to office. There was a crisis situation. I was hoping to head home straight. Thankfully i checked my mail. Everything sorted i reached home at 10!!. Now im back in the office and honestly wondering what the hell im doing here... :)

Confidential...meaning revisited

Had one heluva tiring day.After work had to meet some people from some colleges, not students but faculty, placement officers etc. Dinner was an out and out business affair. My friend Ms.J called in the middle, surprised i picked up the phone and told her i was a bit busy and that i would call her back. Well J and i have been friends for ages, and well its jus that she never calls. I dont have a problem with that but still when she does its like snow in Chennai. Anywayz i presumed she called to tell me she was free so we could meet up tomorrow. We were thinking of a movie. I got back home and called back quite happy that we were to meet after a long time. Well apparently she called to tell me that i had discussed something confidential in public. Public being one lady i knew and the confidential info being that a someone she knew from my company dint have a good time abroad.
Whoa... every company has confidential stuff but since when did such shit become that. Well felt something snap inside and knew i was going to blow it soon. So told her that if something was confidential, why the hell should you tell me in the first place. There are millions of things that happen around me..that are really meant to be CONFIDENTIAL...i dont go around discussing it. Well i dont blame Ms J. Those someones shudda been more careful and less judgmental. I dont like people telling me , I TOLD YOU SO. If you told me so then u shudda freaking stressed it or pput a post it on my face. Then id have remembered. Or next time when we talk take a sheet, take a ruler, take a pen. Divide the page into two columns. One as confidential and the other as public knowledge. Fill up both columns. And once you're done...

... LEAVE IT IN THE BATHROOM SO SOMEONE COULD USE IT AS TOILET PAPER!!!

Uncle's BACKKKKKKK

D's dad is back and hes fine. Im relieved. D's been under tension for ages and shes been going mad for awhile thanks to all the tension. Additionally her dad was not well. He was having some heart problems.
D urgently called me one day and told me that Appa failed the Tread Mill test. Which meant that his heart was week. Within a couple of weeks he had to have a by pass surgery. He was brought from Ranny to Cochin and admitted in the hospital. Three arteries were blocked. While the surgery was to take place his heart was functioning only 40%. The surgery was done and he was in ICU. He survived it and all our prayers from everyone i knew was with him.Now hes back home. D's sort of relieved but the tension in her voice is evident. Will be tough ahead but he will get better.
Dont worry gal... Everything wil be goood.

P.S.- Im not writing just because you fought with me... this happenend today..im relieved and im writing. My justification for the post :)

you dint write about me...

A: Heyy did you read my blog

D: Oh yea i did.. What di full jollu for Prithviraj... foto and all

A: Yea what to do orey love for him

D: Read the whole thing

A: Yea ..awesome (very very happy)

D: But how come you wrote about everybody and did not write about me

A: I started blogging only recently and what i wrote is funny things that have been happening last two weeks... i dont think anything interesting has taken place between us the last two weeks

D: Oh... so do u mean to say that incident with Ranger happened two weeks back.. you told me about it many months ago

A: err.. i just wrote about things i spontaneously thought of and i did not consciously include or exclude anyone

D: I know you could write about everyone but me

A: Its not like that

D: I know you have your own life. Your own family. I dont matter anymore. As usual i have to be alone. I am getting used to it

A: Where do you get all this nonsense from?? Yea all your life you've been alone. You have had no one. What crap all this is just assumptions.

D: Yea why would u bother about me anyway

A: Yea why would i. After all ive never been there as a friend nah. Dont ever assume things about me. Its not like i consciously and deliberately did not write.

D: Whatever happens dont write about me after this

A: Not a problem. Anyways ive started writing after so long.. now who cares might as well stop that also.

D: Do whatever but dont write about me

A: Fine

D: Fine

weeks never end

Yawwwnnnn. I woke up and was unusually happy. Was walking around with a spring in my step. Sipped and relished my morning coffee like it was the last time I was going to drink it. Amma was a bit confused but decided not to ask. She probably thought that i was relieved that i finally had an entire weekend off and wasnt travelling. She didnt really ask though. Relaxed and had a nice warm bath, totally enjoying the luxury. Finally practically rolled my way to breakfast... Finally i exclaimed - Yayyyy its Thursday and one more day for the weekend. Amma looked at me like i lost my mind.... Aarthi its only Wednesday.. Aww mum come on dont burst my bubble... AARTHI it is Wednesday... AMMA

WELL AARTHI IT IS ONLY WEDNESDAY. Hmmph!

Huh...what??

Aarthi...yea tell me...I need the updated list of all the colleges for WASE.. I need the total numbers and details for the Trichy TIS event..have u spoken to priya for the list of technical panelists...I need the quote for the materials to be printed...I need you to remind me about the VP going to Salem...you need to check if his tickets are taken care of... i need you to check with certain colleges if they will be givin us day 1 slot.. you have five minutes...so finish and come to my cabin....

HUH WHAT?????

Mozhi fiasco

Pritviraj..hah yes i can see you grinning. My current craze is Pritviraj, of Kana Kandein and Parijatham fame. His charm, good looks...will cut the crap...i jus think the guy is awesome! Anyways his latest film released on friday and i was dyin to watch it. I booked tickets online for the show. Mum, abhi, mohi and myself went for the film. Collected the tickets and went to the theatre..the guy dint allow us in!! WHY?? Coz the tickets had been booked for a different date. After much hassle realised it was some problem with the server. The ppl at the theatre were extremely sweet inspite of me boiling..they offered to sell the tickets or give us tickets for another day...i decided to get it rescheduled for another day and leave for the moment...that wasnt to be either coz our car was parked along with those goin for Mozhi..so we were stuck for another three hours...the theatre guys requested us to watch Blood Diamond...No thanks have already seen it...Damn we had no other option..Well they did offer the box....fine...will just watch it and so we did...

People have been taking my trip about this simply coz i was practically jumping the whole day and all that energy jus went poooof! when the whole plan flopped. My bro and his friend are pretty much sick and tired of me talking about this guy. Before we went for the movie my bro even cursed me sayin that on screen Pritviraj's face alone would be black!!! What black... i didnt even get to see him except on the hoarding!!! Talk about curses coming true :(

argghhhh...

YES!! Thats exactly what im saying now. Why?? Coz its just like that. I had been away from listening to music for awhile. Earlier in my previous office i used to have my headphones 24/7. Well new office, new people, thought id take my time before i started listening to music. Decided today would be the D-day. The day i joined i knew i couldnt load any CDs coz the CD drive has been removed from all our systems!!! Then i tried accessing sites where i could download or listen to streaming using. My usual favorites were all blocked...and threw the warning message on my face saying "ACCESS DENIED"..even banks aint so secure. FINE!! Thought id load some music on my phone and then transfer to my system with the data cable. Well turns out you need administrative rights even for that.

Finally i tried radioblog. The site worked. PRAISE THE LORD!!! I said it too soon. The site worked but it needed the latest version of Macromedia Flash. Tried updating the existing version turns out I DID NOT HAVE SUFFICIENT PRIVILEGES!!! Anyone who even considers laughing...well if ur a man i curse that you get pregnant and if ur a woman i curse that your teeth fall off and ur head goes bald. Exactly thats how mad i am at the moment. Told my friend 'Nothings Aplenty' to send me some songs. She sent me 9. Received 3. The remaining were quarantined. Another way to remind me about my privileges and rights.

Pandora seems to be finally showing me some sympathy. Borrowed headphones from a friend. Right now, think id need more than just good music to soothe those nerves...

my breakthrough as an actor

Necessary targets.. a play by Eve Ensler...telling the story of victims of chaos in Bosnia...the story is about 5 victims who tell their story as the play progresses...they dont really want to open up but they end doing jus that..a psychiatrist comes to visit them from America and tries to make them talk about their sorrow...well little did she know the intensity of what actually happened and in the end she falls in love with Bosnia when a doctor who was among the refugees actually talks about the beauty of Bosnia, that was later ravaged and destroyed...

Well i played the character of Zlata, a refugee who was also a doctor. The play was one of the toughest ive done till date. Throughout the play, shes stoic, upright but in the end she breaks down..Stoic - me!!! How on earth..and breaking down..on stage..damn. Well the play practises used to start at around 3 and went on till 9 in the night. Saturdays usually went on from morning till late night as some of our best practise sessions were on Saturday. The play also had a bunch of monologues. Each character had her story to tell. Our director, Dr. Rajani, my second play with him, GRILLED US. What i am today as an actor, i owe completely to him. Anyways back to the play - he was busy working on this particular character Seada, who in the play was raped and her baby was taken away from her. Sir had to work on her quite a bit as she had quite a strong accent. All other monologues were done, except mine. I didnt really want to bring it up with him coz the tension of the play was really building up. Finally the weekend before the play i reminded him that he had never ever reheared my monologue. I could see his face, like lightning had struck or something. I was still very very very amateur in my acting skills and dialogue delivery. He decided that we would try and read the monologue and he would chop off as much as possible. I was ok with it coz it saved the trouble but still something in me just wanted to do the whole damn thing...coz they were beautiful lines and to deliver them would be sheer joy had i rehearsed them earlier. I read the monologue out loud. Sounded ok to my ears..just ok..not great. Then thatha ( i fondly call Rajani Sir that) told me to get a hang of the lines and just break down delivering them and if possible imagine what the lines were trying to convey. I tried...i really did..i had to imagine snowy mountains, warm kitchens, the sound of laughter, green pastures and the next instant had to imagine terrorists breaking in and chopping of my parents heads...my mind was in a whirl and before i knew it...i had broken down and was sobbing uncontrollably on stage with the lines coming out in splutters...the scene was over and i had collapsed on stage... Sir...well was astounded so were the others who were not in the scene but were just watchin..i couldnt get a hold of myself for a bit..and when i did..i knew something in me had broken loose...guess i had no more inhibitions about being on stage..i could cry, laugh, anything easily like i actually lived the moment....

None of the crew and co ordinators had watched my scene..the day before the play we were to have a dress rehearsal. One of my closest friends was heading the Costumes and make up committee ..automatically all my other close friends were in the committee helping out and were present on the dress rehearsal...the staff co ordinator for the play was the Head of my Department....my scene was done..i had broken down..the tears finally stopped..the play was over. I was sitting at the edge of the stage listening to my directors feedback. My friends came upto me and well...all they could say was Machan why the hell did you cry like that...they were standing in a corner actually shocked that i was crying...then my HOD approached...all she said was...the scene was fantastic and i was moved...I was not moved..i was FLOATING now...

that was the beginning...the beginning that will always be...i cant see an end in my passion for acting.,.. I love the stage...i enjoy being on stage....theatre is my passion, my dream, i can be someone im not at the same time i can also be myself...revealing facets of myself that i would in normal everyday life not show people... Cant wait to act again after taking a hiatus of nearly a year and half...wish my life could just start and end,...acting!

stolen moments...

Hmmm...something i suddenly thought of and thought id just pen down a few of mine... a walk with someone special and suddenly realising you were walkin hand in hand... sittin by the beach, talking about aircrafts, ships, the platform and strawberry ice cream and soon you realise that you have spent five hours talking about nothing... sitting in the open air and watchin a music concert with a slight drizzle... falling sick the next day and drinking masala chai in Java Green coz ur under threat while that someone decides to drink strawberry milkshake - pig ... staying up late working on somethin you have no clue about except that he has to, so u stick around and pretend that you know exactly what you are doing...sending an sms to someone even though he is sitting right next to u jus to say hi... a long drive on a rainy road listening to ur favorite song oblivious to everythin else... when he goes somewhere and gets u something simply coz he thought of you...and drops it in ur bag with a sweet but simple note..and u go home and find this lil thing peeking out of the corner of your bag... an sms telling you he misses you even though he jus met you a couple of mins ago..

life aint always a pain.. some moments outweigh the rest..and when life treats you bad thinkin of these good times can make a teeeny weeny difference...atleast puts a smile on ur face...unaware!

ranger danger

For those of you wondering who ranger is..well its obvious you dont know me well enough..Ranger...my goofy labrador...is about 12 years old now ..and before we adopted him he was actually named Danger. Just like every true parent, mum didn't want to sabotage her son's future with a name like that..hence we referred to him as Ranger..hoping he would respond.. Now there's no looking back..
Anyways just so you guys dont think hes some macho dog..here goes...mum usually wakes up really early..and ranger wakes up at about the same time...mum wakes up and opens my room (i was away in hyderabad) only to find the neighbours cat sleeping on my bed!!! Talk about taking ownership over ur surroundings. Anyways mum was pretty shocked to see the cat...but all the cat did was raise its head and simply acknowledged her presence...Ranger hadn't noticed the cat and was lying down next to the refrigerator..,.anyways the cat stretches...cranes her neck..and then decides that it was time for her to leave...all the while poor mum waiting and wondering when this unexpected guest would leave... the cat jumps off the bed...simply trots in front of mum..not displayin one percent of agility expected from normal cats...mum was worried that ranger might wake up seein the cat...and bark bringing the roof down..while barking under normal circumstances would be ok..this was 5 am..half the world was asleep...the cat simply continues to trot, stretch and trot again..ranger wakes up...surprise in his eyes that a cat was coming out of my room....all mum could do was dumbly stare...wat one would expect in such a situation would be chaos, noise, chase,,something like that..well whaddya think ranger did :)...welll he sprang up to his feet, ran for his life,...and hid behind mum and quietly watched the cat...his eyes filled with terror...mum had to control herself till the cat FINALLY left..and then burst out laughing...
Ranger...definitely Danger :)

new job..time lapse memory lapse

well im not gonna explain that title too much..anyways im working at Wipro Technologies now... honestly i am having a lot of fun...have a great team that i work with..still getting hang of the new job..slowly but decently well...within the first week of being here i had to fly to Ghaziabad (never heard of the place till i actually went there). Well this place is about an hour and half from Delhi. We were told to reach Delhi by 5 in the evening coz the college cabs would be waiting for us. A bunch of technical panelists and of course not-so-technical me...we were at the airport waiting for the program manager...well delhi off late has been known for all flights being delayed, both incoming and outgoing flights...smart that i am i told the technical panelists to leave...myself, another HR guy say Mr N were waiting in the airport...well waited is almost an understatement...lets say i lived there from 5 in the evening till 9 in the night...finally..oh so finally my colleague landed...with the little energy left..i dragged my luggage...was freezin outside..no college cabs..so took an airport cab..luckily we had one of the college guys accompanying us...welll not so lucky though coz he was a bit of a dud head,,. the airport cab dropped us off at a place called Anand Vihar...me was thinking it was jus a bus station..turns out it was a FREAKING DISPUTE area..damn..nice place i want myself at 11.30 in the night..turns out the college cab was on its way to pick us up from this place..and well it was coming for a very long time.. FINALLY we got picked up at 11.45 after standing on the platform for a good 45 mins...with drunken auto drivers asking if we wanted a lift...thieves running away and police chasin..(no kidding).. when we reached the hotel it was almost 1...realised i hadnt eaten dinner..luckily the hotel had some rice and dhal makhni...god bless them..at that time hot water wud have been a meal...all done i crashed with faint images of kabhi alvida na kehna...(was watching a bit of it on TV) running through my head..the next day the campus event went good..few arguments here and there..not that i personally cared as long as i shuddup and did my work...which i obviously did..finished my interviews close to 10 and selected the future prospects of my company..announced results..had dinner and went back to the hotel thru the fog,...crashed again...morning awoke early and left for the airport.. traffic jam...hating it...wish i cud just crawl into bed...wasnt quite happenin...reached the airport finally...flight delayed by 20 mins...reached home...changed and ran to office...was chatting with my colleague..and she was asking how the event..and all i cud say was it went well...and then....i cudnt remember which day of the week it was :(..well my colleague smirked and said WELCOME...hah yea rite :)

time i wrote again...

its been a reaally really long time since i even bothered to write...but yes i was inspired by a friend at work..who decided that i either blog or answer her emails. Well she did decide the latter wud be profoundly disastrous...so i wasnt left with much of an option..so here goes...well i jus got back from this really long vacation..i spent two whole weeks at home..yes u heard me right at home..the first week went in coughing my lungs out thanks to a dreadful paint allergy..my best friend Ms D decided to come down from Kerala and we did our usual musings at T Nagar buying things we wud probably use twice in our lives..and they will find their place in the corner of the cupboard...only to be found by amma when she performs her ritual of cleaning cupboard which she does out of exasperation...the second week was pretty eventless..was at home...bugging my dogs till no end..they refused to let me sleep and i pretty much did the same...ended up quarrelling with dad over some stupid issue but it was time someone spoke up..too bad it had to be me..but yeah alls well that ends well..im back in hyderabad now..for my last week in my present company..im moving back to chennai next week..new job...home beckons again.. :)