One minute more...

Time flies. Known fact. But we never look at ourselves and say - I'm 26, time flew. Or I'm married time flew. We mostly end up looking at time passing in relation with someone else.

A and i are 5 years apart. He's a total kid and still is one even though he's 21. The last one week has been a sort of reality check for me. The same kid who yanked me by my hair and broke every toy i had was packing his bags to leave for Australia, for higher studies. Time really had flown by.

A and i have never really been at logger heads. We've always gotten along like a house on fire and of course together played pranks on people, Amma being the target for most of them. He's been a role model for his friends and even his profs in college depended on for various things. At home he's been the extended shoulder for mum. Someone who was always there, her shadow.

He left yesterday. From Sunday, i was hoping against hope that time would stand still and that thursday night would never come. I never thought I'd miss him so much but i guess its only when a person is away from you do you realise their worth. At several instances i normally think, "damn i wish i had just one minute more" - probably for finishing an assignment, or a call, or just beginning a long journey. Many instances.

Yesterday on our way to the airport as the minute and seconds hand moved, i hoped for just one minute more. One minute more for A to be with mum, One minute more for him to whine with Buddy and cuddle Candy, one minute more for him to chit chat with dad, one minute more for him to fondly call me Arthropoda and yank me by my nose (he loves doing that) one minute more for him to climb and sit on Mohee's shoulder.

We reached the airport. I did not get my one minute more.

Time flew faster than i thought. In minutes he was done checking in, waving goodbye, and walking through customs to security check. My last sight of him was of him lugging his backpack (weighing 11 kilos!) and making his way to his destiny. Standing at 6'4, he still looked like the curly haired kid zooming around the house in his walker scribbling on every wall around, occasionally stopping to bite my hand.

A journey to the airport and back with one person less. And for the first time, my head did not automatically turn at the BMW showroom!

Quarterly sins cleared!

1. I walked up to Tirupati. 3500 steps in 2 hours 50 mins. My feet were a bit sore when on the road. The rest seemed fine. The first part of course drained me completely.

But still. Kudos Maverick (my gym)!!!

2. For the first time in Tirupati i walked in and out of the temple in 15 mins. Thanks to R and R's dad who knew people there and also that there wasnt much crowd, we were in and out like you would in a normal temple. Not standing in a queue, not getting squashed and smashed by a zillion people of various shapes and sizes, not being yanked by the security forces inside - is very unlike Tirupati.

3. We went to Tiruchanoor. Bought tickets and was just going to stand in the queue - yes there was no queue in Tirupati but was there in Tiruchanoor. Amma Appa and I went to take our slippers off and join the queue. There was a security guard who stopped me asking if i had a good darshan. I bluntly responded that i hadnt yet gone in yet. He simply made a gesture for me to enter and by pass the queue with my family of course towing behind. I was shocked and amazed. He did not expect any money either. Went in and R and I managed to sit in front of the deity for a solid ten minutes while the pooja was performed. It was crowded, but we were allowed to sit there for sometime.

Fantastic Trip! I have washed away my sins for this quarter!

I am deaf!

I detest it when people are loud. True there are occasions even when i can be exceptionally loud, but probably for the want of being heard. But when someone is close by and has to just make a point in an absolutely silent room, i dont understand the need to have to yell such that the surrounding ear drums take a flight to hell and back.

There have been several instances at work where ive forced myself to hold back. But there have been times when i just had to lose it. Three people conversing across two bays that are less than 5 feet apart. And how do they converse - 'What do you think about this...I think' - imagine you're friend is standing on top of a 50 foot tower and ur at the bottom and you are screaming at the top of your voice to let him know that the builiding is on fire! When these things happen a million swear words run thru my head and before they become vocal they sort of get caught somewhere in my anatomy that is still confused by the decibel volumes.

We went out for dinner yesterday. We were about 9 of us. Yes we were talking, but it was audible only to us. The entire restaurant was filled with people who wanted the world to know that they were there. It was ridiculously noisy. Still that was acceptable - sunday night, small place, crowded, couple of bday celebrations - cant really expect a funeral silence there can we. Unfortunate we got a table that was close to the buffet counter and also the gap between us and and the adjoining table was just over a foot.

A small kid walked by with her mum and while the mum whose eyes were only on the food went to the food counter, the kid probably saw a take diversion in her head, and turned the other side. Kids do these things (i presume) and I dont think is something to yell about. Being a small place the chances of the kid getting lost unless she had an invisibility cloak were very less. When the mother's attention turned from the deep fried patties to the baby, there was a thundering ' DONT GO THERE I AM HERE'. Well except the kid the whole world knew that by now. I was drinking some coffee shake and thought the glass would crumble in my hand. I stared blankly like someone had zapped me into going deaf. Mohi sitting opposite me reflected the same reaction as he was closer to the source of the explosion. I mentally strangled her!

For people who are loud:-

• Remember there are people around you who are not deaf
• Remember that in a silent room, even if u whisper the other person would hear
• In a silent room if you want to make a point - Say It!. We can still hear
• If you had swallowed an amplifier as a kid - time you swallowed a death pill. Excuses wont work.
• If you're kid is not listening to you - yelling wont help. Remember he/she is still a kid.

I cant think of more. The deafness is still not cured. If you can think of more suggestions feel free to comment.

Bali Singa Kutty!

With the marriage and reception over, we were all set to leave for Bali for our honeymoon. When im in a more *writing mood* i would write about the marriage and the reception. Now fresh in my mind is my encounter with my Singa Kutty (Lion Cub). For those stupid duffers who think im referring to my husband - well get a life!!!

We went to Bali zoo and there was a session when we could meet the animals. Raghu and I being animal fanatics jumped at the opportunity especially since we could carry a lion cub. Gosh i touched one when i was a kid in Mysore Zoo. I still treasure that half torn picture - digi cams were not even invented then.

Met a couple of animals and when it was time to meet the lion cub, we couldnt quite contain our excitement atleast i couldnt. The two brats came tumbling down the steps. Halt!! These are lion cubs not kittens. Do not try and pet them the normal way. They rolled around, fought with the zoo officials. A lady, amongst the audience, was the first to hold one up. She managed to while he literally wriggled in her hands. Next was my turn. Again he fought and wriggled as though i were trying to kill him. Heavy was an understatement to what he was - Buddy was a feather in comparison to this brat...ahem and Buddy is no lion.. sometimes i even wonder if he is a dog (will update).

All of us took turns in holding the lion cub. We were clearly told to keep hold it by the arms keeping it a safe distance away from our body. They were later put down and were playing with a couple of toys. One was distracted. Smart that i was, i decided to catch his attention by calling it like i would call a cat (not sure how i can express that calling). The cub barely looked. A couple of seconds later, what was a calling turned into a yelp. The brat pounced on my leg and nipped at it holding my leg with his paws and refusing to let go. A second later the official dragged him by the tail. Now anyone in their right mind, would remember that this was a lion cub not a cat. This was a wild animal. And me calling it like i would a cat was definitely neither appreciated nor accepted.

R couldnt control his laughter neither could anyone around...neither could i. Luckily it was just a nip and not a bite.

But still, i proudly profess that a lion pounced on me!!! :)

Bridge Over Troubled Water...

One of my all time favourites...

When you're weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I'm on your side. When times get rough
And friends just can't be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

When you're down and out,
When you're on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I'll take your part.
When darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

Sail on silvergirl, Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.
If you need a friend I'm sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

Sung by Simon and Garfunkel.
Music and Lyrics by Paul Simon, 1969.

What's in a name?

I was inspired by a comment on my OOO reply to write this. A colleague, looking at my out of office reply, casually questioned if i had plans of changing my name post marriage - email id, signature etc. What was a casual statement, turned into a debate in my head. My colleague had also specified that this was not one of his chauvinistic views. Do not for a moment think im against changing my name - this was just a debate in my head and i had to get it out.

I'm married. My surname would change. I dont think i would call myself a feminist or someone with extreme libertarian views. During one of our lectures in Mass Communication (i did my MA in Mass Comm) a professor of mine had remarked that i was a feminist. I retaliated that I did not want my rights and recognition coz im a woman, i wanted it coz im a human being.

Back to name change - my dads name after my name stood for a lot of things. His stature, his name in society, the fact that i was his daughter and took after him in a lot of ways. It had been that way since the day i was born. As A, i was just another A. As AK, i was a lot more things. I stood for things, that were isolated to me, that represented who i was for 26 years of my existence. In school, in college and at work, AK was popularly known for being an all rounder, sports person, decent in academics, active in theatre, accident prone, extremely sensitive yet practical when it came to solving others problems, hardworking, confused etc.

Now in my current situation, do i need to rework all that i had done and all that i had been. Do i need to build a new image of myself in tune with what my surname would be. Or do i simply change the name and continue being me and let people figure out that AK and AR are one and the same.

Another thought, why at all should a woman have her husband's/father's name after hers. Socially acceptable? Cant i just add some nice name post mine, maybe an adjective or something that signifies 'ME'. The same colleague also stated that changing my name was socially acceptable and i wouldnt have to answer too many questions.

Do we all, always do what is socially acceptable. Im going off on a different tangent but i need these threads to keep my thoughts intact. Again, who defines what is socially acceptable? Society, people, the scriptures, saints. What is socially acceptable would have to be what is personally acceptable.

I will change my name - not because im personally convinced that thats the best idea in the world. System has been that way and since I'm a part of the system i would have to do what it take to ensure its smooth functioning.. I'm not yet there to be radical in my views like Swaminathan Anklesaria Aiyer (my colleague reminded me of him). I would do what is done, even though i debate with myself and come to no conclusion. The solution remains unchanged.

Color Blind

Picking from a post that Vrinda had written, there never is a drive without atleast 5 ppl driving like they owned the road, 2 ripping past you like they were finding the quickest way to hell and the decent few who drove from A to B just so they had to.
This instance though has nothing to do with driving. Abhi and i were doing some wedding shopping (ahem yes im Married). Taking suggestions from friends, we decided to head to Man Mandir and couple of other saree shops in Nungambakkan, for my reception saree. We had some work for my passport. Finished that and headed for Nungambakkam.
Narain (my driver since i was in the 6th Standard), parked the car right outside the complex. I was on the phone trying to figure out if i had submitted all the documents for my passport. I was leaning against the door. I noticed a lady walking in front of my car (Tavera). She was noticeable, coz on a sunny bright day, she was wearing a bright red silk shirt and dyed henna hair and of course skin tucked in with a 100 face lifts.
Luckily Narain and Abhi noticed her too. Why lucky, coz she walked straight upto my door and opened it!!! - remember i was leaning on the door and was on the phone. Abhi literally caught my leg and Narain yanked me by the hand else i would have been on the pavement on my back with limbs in the air - typical Buddy pose! I had no idea how to react but a 'Whaddya think you're doing' came out while trying to catch my breath, recovering from the catastrophe that almost happened. Her reaction was - Oops sorry i thought it was my car. She shut the door and left.
The 3 of us were stunned. What just happened??? The dimwit walked in front of the car, got into a Red Safari and went away.
Now, i have a silver Chevrolet Tavera - SILVER. Her car was a red Safari - RED. Had it been two different cars of the same color, or maybe the same model car of the same color - I totally understand this confusion. Who in their right mind and sight, would confuse Red with Silver.
We tried justifying - and we found absolutely no reasons!

She was pure dumb. Or she was some long lost enemy of mine, who wanted to see me fall!