Checking...double checking, rechecking..

Its locked. Hmm let me recheck. Yupp its locked. But what if i yanked it a bit and the lock broke.Yank!. Its still locked. Alright, confident, time to go to bed. Not sure what kind of phobia this is or if it even qualifies as a phobia, but I generally tend to check, double check and recheck locks and bolts quite a few times (thrice to be precise) before I actually decide that no skilled thief is gonna break in and steal stuff from my house.

Kinda crazy i know. Somehow this practise has stuck on for several years and try as i might cant quite change it. The funny part is, i saw a film the other day, a Jack Nicholson flick, where he checks a door thrice before deciding it was locked. Thrice here as well!!! Yikes, reality kinda hit hard. Is that what i looked like? Yanking a door before i decided it was locked?? Me? Yupp pretty much. I watched that film sometime back, and was quite sure i resembled a clown had someone really noticed me in the act of checking locks and bolts.

Ive stopped being the person to check doors before sleeping. The routine thoroughly tires me out. My brother has taken over. Funnily, the other day, while he was checking the grill door in the verandah, I was ironing my clothes near by, I noticed my brother yanking the lock. Shocked, surprised, are these things hereditary as well. Did he see me do this or was it a natural instinct. Not too sure about that. Tried following my mum and dad around the house when they were bolting up to notice any similar traits. They were wondering if I was snooping around for something. Weird. Strange. Dont think i will ever find out if its just something unique or if i can blame my genes!!!

Taking time...

This is not some gyan on focus, moving in the right direction or any of those things. Just a passing thought which i felt should be put down. There have been so many instances where I've found myself literally wasting my energy. Simple example, getting angry and screaming at someone. Im not saying that you should not get angry at all. Sometimes you just cant do anything, and you need to lose it. Last time, i was on the verge of losing it, I went for a walk. Sounds dumb I know. Someone I knew was driving me nuts. I was close to telling him to take a hike. I did not want to shout. Simply kept quiet and listened to what he had to say. Once he was done, I was fuming. Smoke literally coming out of my eyes and ears! I decided to take a walk. A walk in the office??? Not a bad idea actually. Luckily it was kind of late in the evening so was cool. Just walked around for about 15 mins. When i returned to my desk, somehow a lot of things fell into perspective. True, at the spur of the moment, I was furious. Thinking things through, i realised that there were some things I had to change and perhaps work on to make life better. I did just that.

Another simple example of missing someone. Sometimes, you miss someone too much that you could sit and pine and whine all day. Why do that?? In my case, since i work out when i can, my gym was my let out. A good workout, an hour and a half of taking your mind of something, maybe someone. Sure does a world of good. I had a great workout, 1 hour of cardio and 30 mins of floor exercises, stretches. I came back home feeling ecstatic.

Emotions are not a waste of time. However the amount of energy we spend on expressing them, can be utilised more effectively doing something constructive. Enough for now...Laterzzz!