I am deaf!

I detest it when people are loud. True there are occasions even when i can be exceptionally loud, but probably for the want of being heard. But when someone is close by and has to just make a point in an absolutely silent room, i dont understand the need to have to yell such that the surrounding ear drums take a flight to hell and back.

There have been several instances at work where ive forced myself to hold back. But there have been times when i just had to lose it. Three people conversing across two bays that are less than 5 feet apart. And how do they converse - 'What do you think about this...I think' - imagine you're friend is standing on top of a 50 foot tower and ur at the bottom and you are screaming at the top of your voice to let him know that the builiding is on fire! When these things happen a million swear words run thru my head and before they become vocal they sort of get caught somewhere in my anatomy that is still confused by the decibel volumes.

We went out for dinner yesterday. We were about 9 of us. Yes we were talking, but it was audible only to us. The entire restaurant was filled with people who wanted the world to know that they were there. It was ridiculously noisy. Still that was acceptable - sunday night, small place, crowded, couple of bday celebrations - cant really expect a funeral silence there can we. Unfortunate we got a table that was close to the buffet counter and also the gap between us and and the adjoining table was just over a foot.

A small kid walked by with her mum and while the mum whose eyes were only on the food went to the food counter, the kid probably saw a take diversion in her head, and turned the other side. Kids do these things (i presume) and I dont think is something to yell about. Being a small place the chances of the kid getting lost unless she had an invisibility cloak were very less. When the mother's attention turned from the deep fried patties to the baby, there was a thundering ' DONT GO THERE I AM HERE'. Well except the kid the whole world knew that by now. I was drinking some coffee shake and thought the glass would crumble in my hand. I stared blankly like someone had zapped me into going deaf. Mohi sitting opposite me reflected the same reaction as he was closer to the source of the explosion. I mentally strangled her!

For people who are loud:-

• Remember there are people around you who are not deaf
• Remember that in a silent room, even if u whisper the other person would hear
• In a silent room if you want to make a point - Say It!. We can still hear
• If you had swallowed an amplifier as a kid - time you swallowed a death pill. Excuses wont work.
• If you're kid is not listening to you - yelling wont help. Remember he/she is still a kid.

I cant think of more. The deafness is still not cured. If you can think of more suggestions feel free to comment.

Bali Singa Kutty!

With the marriage and reception over, we were all set to leave for Bali for our honeymoon. When im in a more *writing mood* i would write about the marriage and the reception. Now fresh in my mind is my encounter with my Singa Kutty (Lion Cub). For those stupid duffers who think im referring to my husband - well get a life!!!

We went to Bali zoo and there was a session when we could meet the animals. Raghu and I being animal fanatics jumped at the opportunity especially since we could carry a lion cub. Gosh i touched one when i was a kid in Mysore Zoo. I still treasure that half torn picture - digi cams were not even invented then.

Met a couple of animals and when it was time to meet the lion cub, we couldnt quite contain our excitement atleast i couldnt. The two brats came tumbling down the steps. Halt!! These are lion cubs not kittens. Do not try and pet them the normal way. They rolled around, fought with the zoo officials. A lady, amongst the audience, was the first to hold one up. She managed to while he literally wriggled in her hands. Next was my turn. Again he fought and wriggled as though i were trying to kill him. Heavy was an understatement to what he was - Buddy was a feather in comparison to this brat...ahem and Buddy is no lion.. sometimes i even wonder if he is a dog (will update).

All of us took turns in holding the lion cub. We were clearly told to keep hold it by the arms keeping it a safe distance away from our body. They were later put down and were playing with a couple of toys. One was distracted. Smart that i was, i decided to catch his attention by calling it like i would call a cat (not sure how i can express that calling). The cub barely looked. A couple of seconds later, what was a calling turned into a yelp. The brat pounced on my leg and nipped at it holding my leg with his paws and refusing to let go. A second later the official dragged him by the tail. Now anyone in their right mind, would remember that this was a lion cub not a cat. This was a wild animal. And me calling it like i would a cat was definitely neither appreciated nor accepted.

R couldnt control his laughter neither could anyone around...neither could i. Luckily it was just a nip and not a bite.

But still, i proudly profess that a lion pounced on me!!! :)

Bridge Over Troubled Water...

One of my all time favourites...

When you're weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I'm on your side. When times get rough
And friends just can't be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

When you're down and out,
When you're on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I'll take your part.
When darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

Sail on silvergirl, Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.
If you need a friend I'm sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

Sung by Simon and Garfunkel.
Music and Lyrics by Paul Simon, 1969.

What's in a name?

I was inspired by a comment on my OOO reply to write this. A colleague, looking at my out of office reply, casually questioned if i had plans of changing my name post marriage - email id, signature etc. What was a casual statement, turned into a debate in my head. My colleague had also specified that this was not one of his chauvinistic views. Do not for a moment think im against changing my name - this was just a debate in my head and i had to get it out.

I'm married. My surname would change. I dont think i would call myself a feminist or someone with extreme libertarian views. During one of our lectures in Mass Communication (i did my MA in Mass Comm) a professor of mine had remarked that i was a feminist. I retaliated that I did not want my rights and recognition coz im a woman, i wanted it coz im a human being.

Back to name change - my dads name after my name stood for a lot of things. His stature, his name in society, the fact that i was his daughter and took after him in a lot of ways. It had been that way since the day i was born. As A, i was just another A. As AK, i was a lot more things. I stood for things, that were isolated to me, that represented who i was for 26 years of my existence. In school, in college and at work, AK was popularly known for being an all rounder, sports person, decent in academics, active in theatre, accident prone, extremely sensitive yet practical when it came to solving others problems, hardworking, confused etc.

Now in my current situation, do i need to rework all that i had done and all that i had been. Do i need to build a new image of myself in tune with what my surname would be. Or do i simply change the name and continue being me and let people figure out that AK and AR are one and the same.

Another thought, why at all should a woman have her husband's/father's name after hers. Socially acceptable? Cant i just add some nice name post mine, maybe an adjective or something that signifies 'ME'. The same colleague also stated that changing my name was socially acceptable and i wouldnt have to answer too many questions.

Do we all, always do what is socially acceptable. Im going off on a different tangent but i need these threads to keep my thoughts intact. Again, who defines what is socially acceptable? Society, people, the scriptures, saints. What is socially acceptable would have to be what is personally acceptable.

I will change my name - not because im personally convinced that thats the best idea in the world. System has been that way and since I'm a part of the system i would have to do what it take to ensure its smooth functioning.. I'm not yet there to be radical in my views like Swaminathan Anklesaria Aiyer (my colleague reminded me of him). I would do what is done, even though i debate with myself and come to no conclusion. The solution remains unchanged.