Necessary targets.. a play by Eve Ensler...telling the story of victims of chaos in Bosnia...the story is about 5 victims who tell their story as the play progresses...they dont really want to open up but they end doing jus that..a psychiatrist comes to visit them from America and tries to make them talk about their sorrow...well little did she know the intensity of what actually happened and in the end she falls in love with Bosnia when a doctor who was among the refugees actually talks about the beauty of Bosnia, that was later ravaged and destroyed...
Well i played the character of Zlata, a refugee who was also a doctor. The play was one of the toughest ive done till date. Throughout the play, shes stoic, upright but in the end she breaks down..Stoic - me!!! How on earth..and breaking down..on stage..damn. Well the play practises used to start at around 3 and went on till 9 in the night. Saturdays usually went on from morning till late night as some of our best practise sessions were on Saturday. The play also had a bunch of monologues. Each character had her story to tell. Our director, Dr. Rajani, my second play with him, GRILLED US. What i am today as an actor, i owe completely to him. Anyways back to the play - he was busy working on this particular character Seada, who in the play was raped and her baby was taken away from her. Sir had to work on her quite a bit as she had quite a strong accent. All other monologues were done, except mine. I didnt really want to bring it up with him coz the tension of the play was really building up. Finally the weekend before the play i reminded him that he had never ever reheared my monologue. I could see his face, like lightning had struck or something. I was still very very very amateur in my acting skills and dialogue delivery. He decided that we would try and read the monologue and he would chop off as much as possible. I was ok with it coz it saved the trouble but still something in me just wanted to do the whole damn thing...coz they were beautiful lines and to deliver them would be sheer joy had i rehearsed them earlier. I read the monologue out loud. Sounded ok to my ears..just ok..not great. Then thatha ( i fondly call Rajani Sir that) told me to get a hang of the lines and just break down delivering them and if possible imagine what the lines were trying to convey. I tried...i really did..i had to imagine snowy mountains, warm kitchens, the sound of laughter, green pastures and the next instant had to imagine terrorists breaking in and chopping of my parents heads...my mind was in a whirl and before i knew it...i had broken down and was sobbing uncontrollably on stage with the lines coming out in splutters...the scene was over and i had collapsed on stage... Sir...well was astounded so were the others who were not in the scene but were just watchin..i couldnt get a hold of myself for a bit..and when i did..i knew something in me had broken loose...guess i had no more inhibitions about being on stage..i could cry, laugh, anything easily like i actually lived the moment....
None of the crew and co ordinators had watched my scene..the day before the play we were to have a dress rehearsal. One of my closest friends was heading the Costumes and make up committee ..automatically all my other close friends were in the committee helping out and were present on the dress rehearsal...the staff co ordinator for the play was the Head of my Department....my scene was done..i had broken down..the tears finally stopped..the play was over. I was sitting at the edge of the stage listening to my directors feedback. My friends came upto me and well...all they could say was Machan why the hell did you cry like that...they were standing in a corner actually shocked that i was crying...then my HOD approached...all she said was...the scene was fantastic and i was moved...I was not moved..i was FLOATING now...
that was the beginning...the beginning that will always be...i cant see an end in my passion for acting.,.. I love the stage...i enjoy being on stage....theatre is my passion, my dream, i can be someone im not at the same time i can also be myself...revealing facets of myself that i would in normal everyday life not show people... Cant wait to act again after taking a hiatus of nearly a year and half...wish my life could just start and end,...acting!
