Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
Masks that I'm afraid to take off,
And none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature to me,
But dont't be fooled.
For God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
That confidence is my middle name and coolness is my game,
That the waters calm and I'm in command,
And that I need no one.
But don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth byt my surface
Is my mask, ever-verying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence,
Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
A nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend,
To shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
My only hope, and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
If it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate my from myself,
From my own self built prison walls,
From the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me
Of what I cannot assure myself,
That I'm really worth something.
Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging,
Each time you try to understand because you really care,
My heart begins to grow wings, very small wings,
Very feeble wings,
But wings!
With your power to touch me into feeling
You can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
Who am I, you may wonder.
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet,
And I am every woman you meet.
(an excerpt from Chicken Soup for the Soul)
... I read this piece nearly ten years ago and yet again it strikes me as being absolutely honest and vulnerable. I do not have the book, but I happened to find a print out of this piece and felt that it needed public view. Each of us, at some point of time, wear masks. Sometimes we cannot let the world see us, as our true selves. We want to be accepted, we want to feel wanted, same time we are unsure if the world will accept us just as we are.
There was a time I strove to be someone I was not. I was always someone else. The true me, was missing and sometimes I wondered what my identity was. Today, my attitude has gone through a drastic change. 'I will be myself and I care a damn what the world thinks'. If I'm making a mistake, tell me, I will change, any other opinions feel free to keep them to yourselves. I don't really know the reason behind this change, think college really let me be myself. I did not feel oppressed. Did not feel like i was viewed under a microscope. I truly learned to love myself, and let those inhibitions go. I can't say now, that i love myself and im the best...well...atleast im trying!!
