I was inspired by a comment on my OOO reply to write this. A colleague, looking at my out of office reply, casually questioned if i had plans of changing my name post marriage - email id, signature etc. What was a casual statement, turned into a debate in my head. My colleague had also specified that this was not one of his chauvinistic views. Do not for a moment think im against changing my name - this was just a debate in my head and i had to get it out.
I'm married. My surname would change. I dont think i would call myself a feminist or someone with extreme libertarian views. During one of our lectures in Mass Communication (i did my MA in Mass Comm) a professor of mine had remarked that i was a feminist. I retaliated that I did not want my rights and recognition coz im a woman, i wanted it coz im a human being.
Back to name change - my dads name after my name stood for a lot of things. His stature, his name in society, the fact that i was his daughter and took after him in a lot of ways. It had been that way since the day i was born. As A, i was just another A. As AK, i was a lot more things. I stood for things, that were isolated to me, that represented who i was for 26 years of my existence. In school, in college and at work, AK was popularly known for being an all rounder, sports person, decent in academics, active in theatre, accident prone, extremely sensitive yet practical when it came to solving others problems, hardworking, confused etc.
Now in my current situation, do i need to rework all that i had done and all that i had been. Do i need to build a new image of myself in tune with what my surname would be. Or do i simply change the name and continue being me and let people figure out that AK and AR are one and the same.
Another thought, why at all should a woman have her husband's/father's name after hers. Socially acceptable? Cant i just add some nice name post mine, maybe an adjective or something that signifies 'ME'. The same colleague also stated that changing my name was socially acceptable and i wouldnt have to answer too many questions.
Do we all, always do what is socially acceptable. Im going off on a different tangent but i need these threads to keep my thoughts intact. Again, who defines what is socially acceptable? Society, people, the scriptures, saints. What is socially acceptable would have to be what is personally acceptable.
I will change my name - not because im personally convinced that thats the best idea in the world. System has been that way and since I'm a part of the system i would have to do what it take to ensure its smooth functioning.. I'm not yet there to be radical in my views like Swaminathan Anklesaria Aiyer (my colleague reminded me of him). I would do what is done, even though i debate with myself and come to no conclusion. The solution remains unchanged.
